Escapism junkie Philosopy

Just came from the ultimate escapist trip.  I went to La Union then Hundred Islands with my officemates and it was a vacation full of extremes.  From extreme weather conditions, to extreme sleeping conditions, to extreme activities.  Here’s a rundown of the stuff we did:  surfing, caving, snorkling, kayaking, camping out on the beach, and the coolest of all, cliff jumping from a height of about 25-30 feet above the sea. 
(Note: I did all of the activities mentioned except for surfing just because I’ve done that before already and didn’t feel like doing it again.  Thank god I skipped it or my muscles would be protesting much much louder than they already are right now.)

The interesting is, cliff jumping made me see a part of me that i never knew existed.   I didn’t think I had enough guts to take a scary leap from a safe place into somewhere new entirely.  And this done without hesitation (it was a running jump after all, no second thoughts allowed).  I won’t go into the corny discussion of this so obvious metaphor though. 

Ultimately, I had a great time especially since the entire trip took my mind off the depressing thought of goodbyes.  Too many goodbyes have been going on in my life recently.  Anyway, that’s reality and I guess I have to face that just like I faced the cliff–woops, i just had to lapse into the corny metaphor.  I’m going to stop now before this post gets any more sappier.

by Jimmy Eat World

I’ll take your words as if you were talking to me.
Say what I know you’ll say and say it through your teeth.

Now in the deep and down your heart moves.
Now in the deep and down, I don’t know how but I know I want out.
Wait for something better,
Will I know when it can be us?
Wait for something better.
Maybe that doesn’t mean us.
Wait for something better,
I shouldn’t, it’s not enough.
Pull one excuse from another.

And with pride keep every failure in.
And with pride hold on to your thinking.

Now in the deep and down your heart moves.
Now in the deep and down, I don’t know how but I know I want out.
Wait for something better,
Will I know when it can be us?
Wait for something better.
Maybe that doesn’t mean us.
Wait for something better,
I shouldn’t, it’s not enough.
Pull one excuse from another.
Just one excuse from another.
This time it means us. stop.

*An appropriate song for the day

I’ve decided on this:  I refuse to let my bad moods revolve around you.

I’ve realized by now that sadness fits better on me than happiness. It’s become a comfortable emotion, coming to me like rain on a dark summer night.  Despite this, I always find myself thinking, "I’d rather have a boring happy ending than be a beautiful tragedy".

I think I just lost the part of me that always kept an extra ounce of anger and doubt at my disposal, and despite this stubborn-immune-to-Robitussin-cough still lingering in my chest, I’ve never felt better in days.

He makes me think of pavements
bathed in the sunlight 
still damp from the drizzle
of a typical summer dawn.

And he makes me think of drowsy December
nights when cool wind kisses skin,
and moonlight lies unnoticed
in a canvas of season colored lights.

And he makes me think of oceans
sheltered under blue skies
oblivious to the smell of salt
floating in the air.

And sometimes when the southern wind blows a sad gray note,
he makes me think of forest paths
gently curved, leading
to a lonely little clearing,
where solitude is tattooed
on the leaves of every tree.

-Just some ramblings i came up with about someone I know…don’t ask who. I’ll never tell :p

While listening yet again to my favorite Thursday song, I’m reminded of how my life is full of ‘car crashes’ and it makes me gradually sink into a familiar form of depression.  And even though I should be used to it by now, it always pisses me off.  Why the hell can I not get used to it by now?  Probably because almost every aspect of my life makes my heart sink when I think about it, plus I know this is irrational but there are days when I get the feeling that I’m not missed (yesterday in particular) and I just want to reinvent myself and do something that would make me matter.  The problem is, I don’t know what that something is.  Don’t worry people, I’m not even close to contemplating suicide, just wallowing in my misery here.  I’m probably just bored and I need the drama, I don’t know. I’m not as depressed as yesterday anyway, thanks to a couple of friends.  Fate sometimes twists you around in a weird way I guess.  I never would have thought that I would run into Milhouse (an old friend who I haven’t seen in a long long long time) while hanging out with Christelle last night, and that turned my mood around (in Mcdonalds of all places).  Our silly and sometimes inane 3-way conversation made me laugh so hard, making me realize, that in their own way  they made me feel missed, and for that I’m grateful. 

Check out this site: http://www.myheritage.com

This site uses Face Recognition. You  just upload your photo and it gets scanned then after a few seconds, you get to see the celebrities who supposedly look like you.  Ako gusto ko to.  Ang gaganda ng mga kamukha ko eh haha.  Eto link sa results ko:

http://www.myheritage.com/FP/photo.php?siteID=1&photoID=4331952&source=album&sourceID=531061&albumID=531061

Yesterday morning, right after work I went with Christelle to the Philippine Book Fair at the World Trade Center.  I wasn’t expecting much really.  I just planned on getting a slightly cheaper than normal copy of Everything Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer.  Surprisingly, I didn’t find what I came for but saw 2 books that I’ve been searching for for ages instead(Christopher Moore’s Practical Demonkeeping and Elizabeth Peters’ Silhoutte in Scarlet).   That must be my compensation for a particularly stressful night at work.

It’s a Saturday night and I’m in desperate need for a buzz fix, the red horse kind.  The sad thing is, I’ve run out of cash and credit.  Fortunately, I have a friend named Grace (seriously, no corny pun intended) who’s got the same need, the only difference being, she has SLIGHTLY more money than I do at the moment.  So later we’re off to watch Salindiwa.  Dear God I hope I get slightly drunk before the night ends. Amen.