Escapism junkie Philosopy

While listening yet again to my favorite Thursday song, I’m reminded of how my life is full of ‘car crashes’ and it makes me gradually sink into a familiar form of depression.  And even though I should be used to it by now, it always pisses me off.  Why the hell can I not get used to it by now?  Probably because almost every aspect of my life makes my heart sink when I think about it, plus I know this is irrational but there are days when I get the feeling that I’m not missed (yesterday in particular) and I just want to reinvent myself and do something that would make me matter.  The problem is, I don’t know what that something is.  Don’t worry people, I’m not even close to contemplating suicide, just wallowing in my misery here.  I’m probably just bored and I need the drama, I don’t know. I’m not as depressed as yesterday anyway, thanks to a couple of friends.  Fate sometimes twists you around in a weird way I guess.  I never would have thought that I would run into Milhouse (an old friend who I haven’t seen in a long long long time) while hanging out with Christelle last night, and that turned my mood around (in Mcdonalds of all places).  Our silly and sometimes inane 3-way conversation made me laugh so hard, making me realize, that in their own way  they made me feel missed, and for that I’m grateful.